Ah, December. The sunniest month of them all. The “Friday” month of the year. The time for keDezemba* shenanigans to be in full swing. A time to protect your man, if you have one.
If you don’t know what any of the above means, don’t worry. I’ve got you covered with a few tips and tricks to survive the littest month of the year (in style), should you ever find yourself in this neck of the woods.
The first thing to know:
Once December 1st swings around, every day is Friday. Basically, the work week doesn’t exist. Basically, it’s a lifestyle, babes.
To be completely honest, December actually starts in the last week of November but for argument’s sake, let’s pretend it starts in December.
Just the other day a friend of mine explained how she found herself grooving til the wee hours of Monday morning because she “accidentally” ended up out on Sunday night.
Make no mistake, this was no accident. She just got a whiff of that December air and did what most of us will probably be doing on the regular for the next 25 days.
I mean, was I up until 2am on Thursday last week with wine in hand? Maybe. Did my friend go for a mid-week turn up “unexpectedly” even after her Sunday ordeal? Maybe. Something about that December air, I tell you.
Survival Tip: If you’re like me and want to avoid the post-turn up hangover, then try the party smart approach instead of the party hard approach.
Go have those after work sundowners, but stay hydrated (with water, not wine Carol) in your pursuit of the good times.
Also, the good times don’t have to be up until 3am. If you’re still out by this time chances are you’re partying with a) those that can afford to be out that late or b) Students and teens.
Which leads me to point 2:
December is a lifestyle but partying smart (and hard) is still a can do.
Although every day is Friday, be sure to pick your battles.
We are still adults with real jobs here, so try not to be *that guy* by always showing up to work tired, late, possibly still intoxicated. It might’ve been a good night, but it’s not a good look once the sun is out again.
There’s literally an ocean of options to fulfil your inner party animal and trussst me, you’ll be getting invites to all the things.
Just don’t get too high on that December breeze.
Survival Tip: Be realistic. We ALL like things from time to time but that doesn’t mean our budget agrees.
Make one now. A budget. Seriously. Work out how much you can spend on living la vida loca AFTER you’ve worked out your regular costs and expenses.
Also, since most of us get paid a bit earlier this month, it’s very tempting to dip into that cash since you have it on hand.
YOLO but remember you still need to survive Janu-worry once all the dust has settled after the December madness.
Point 3: Protect yo man!
No one is safe. It’s brick throwing season. This is not a drill.
Hopefully, you’re in one of those honest relationships and you’re not worried about the December woes coming out to play. Good for you.
Survival Tip: Shame, I actually can’t help you here. Been single every December since ever, so just go with God and put a leash on that guy or gal if necessary. Don’t be afraid to stand your ground, mark your territory and whatever other relationship things are necessary to keep your ship afloat.
I’ll pray for y’all.
Point 4: Every day is braai day.
Seriously, who cooks in December? The only thing you should be doing is enjoying a kick back with good friends, drinks and food that is just as easy to make.
A fire, vleis (pronounced fff-ley-s), music and a mood is the way to go.
Survival Tip: Make sure your kitchen and cooler box are appropriately stacked.
The real December bbz will know you should have already bought your drink stock when those Black Friday specials came around. For the rest of us, try buying at wholesale liquor outlets instead of retail. You’re likely to save a buck or two (hundred) on your alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Also shop around at butcheries instead of buying all your meat at retail stores.
Always have a braai master (and once you have one, don’t argue with them about how to cook the meat) and a DJ ready to keep the good times rolling.
Also, if you’re at your homies place and want to indulge more than usual, make sure to Uber yourself from point A to B. Rather more money spent on a ride than a traffic fine or worse.
December in South Africa is highly regarded as the lifestyle month of the year. Its summer, sunny, swaggy and sassy, plus most people are on holiday soaking up the fruits of their labour. I like late night things on occasion, love to soak up fruits (grapes specifically) and enjoy the late summer nights that December brings.
Whatever you decide to do this month, be responsible (seriously, just Uber bro), be budget wise – Janu-worry is real guys, and most of all, have the all fun that this month deserves!
It’s a lifestyle bbz!
*Edit: According to my good friend and December lifestyle ambassador, the spelling is Dezemba and not Dzecembrrr as I originally posted. Corrected for accuracy and for the culture.